Posted by: ottok88 | August 24, 2008

It seems to me

Yes, it seems to me…

This is a subject that I think about quite often; the end of my time on earth.  I don’t want you to think I am morbid, or grievously sad, or depressed.  I am not!

Maybe it has to do with my age.  I have already seen my 87th

birthday and, realistically, how much time do I have left?  The point of this little story is that I would like to share my thoughts and feelings on the subject with my family, and friends.  And would find comfort in hearing their thoughts on it.

 

How can I let them know that I am not being “morbid, or grievously sad, or depressed”?  How can I let them know that I am contented, I am at peace, I feel that I have had a blessed life, and that I am happy that they are a part of it and that I love them?

 

Shouldn’t I have the privilege of expressing my thoughts and feelings?  I would appreciate it if you would give me some feedback on this.  Will you send me you comments in the space provided at the end of this BLOG?  Thanks.  And if we can get my family to LET me talk about it, it will be a comfort to me to “get it off my chest”, and to learn their feelings too, in this very personal matter.

 

Hey!  I feel better already, just discussing this with you briefly.

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Responses

  1. I am glad that you feel that way, but of course we don’t want to think of you being gone. we will miss you way too much. This is a part of reality that’s hard to face. Life will not be the same without you, but you know we are going to talk about you all the time. I know that you will be listening and watching over us. Stay around please a while longer, we love you…

  2. Hi Otto

    Well it’s about time I wrote to you in your blog. Although maybe this isn’t the best subject (about death), but it is a fact of life. After seeing my mother die and father-in-law die this last year reality has set in with me about leaving this earth. Yes it is a fact of life, we are all going to leave our love ones some day. It dosen’t bother me anymore talking about it and sometimes it makes me feel better talking about it. Believe it or not just about three weeks ago I wrote Judy a eight page letter about us. I told her, she could not read it untill I pass on. I also wrote to her in two other letters (about 6 more pages) on what to do when I am gone, like how to take care of things with the house, insurance, bills etc and also how to buried me.

    No I am not leaving this earth yet, but what a relief to get it off my chest. I must of cry for hours writing those letter, but in the end the burden was lifted off my heart. Now I fiquire God could do what he has plans for me, for I know I am in good hands with him.

    Is it morbid to talk about death? No! Is it sad or depressing, it is if, we let it be. Nobody wants to leave thier love ones or especially your love ones do not want you to go. But sometimes we are selfish and want to keep somebody all to our self. I have learn over the years it okay to cry, laugh, be sad, and be happy all at the same.
    time.

    Otto you can call me anytime you like 3 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning, it’s always nice talking to a friend. Sometimes it even better than talking to a love one. When we talk to our wives or kids (okay I talk to my dogs) sometimes we have kid gloves on and we tread lightly. Sometimes we just need the facts and nothing else.

    Okay sorry about rambling. We love all of you

    Love Bill

  3. It is so sad to think of losing you, but even though we have only spent very limited time together, I will always have happy memories of you. When someone dies, we always wish we could have told them how much they have meant to us, and people always talk about what they wish they could have said…shouldn’t it be the same for those who are facing the end of their lives? As you said…when you’re 87 you don’t know how long you have left. I find it wonderful that you would share your thoughts with all of us in such a way as this.

    You have been my only connection to my Grandmother since she’s been gone. I never got the chance to meet her side of the family until we got together with you and Marthe. I have had the opportunity to get to know you two, and I love you both very much. You are rare treasures…as I’m sure all who know you will agree.

    Over the years I have saved the letters you wrote to me….always filled with a very positive view of all the everyday things that we take for granted. You have had a wonderful life full of love and faith. God will take care of you, even when the time comes for you to leave this world and enter into God’s rest.

    Recently the Southern Gospel group, Legacy Five, lost their piano player (and a wonderful song writer) to leukemia at the tender age of 48. His name was Roger Bennett. He was full of life until the very end. After Roger died, someone in the group wrote a beautiful song which says “We will be together longer than we’re apart”. The whole song is about how death only separates us for a short time, and that when we are together again in eternity it will seem like we’re apart for only the blink of an eye.

    I have no doubt that you are going to Heaven. You are full of faith and you love God. The fact that you are content and not afraid to face death is a testimony to your faith. I know that if I never see you again in this life, in a short time we will be together in eternity. Won’t that be wonderful!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts…thank you for being you…thank you for your strength and the love and thoughtfulness you show to all of us. When my time comes to cross over, I’m sure your face will be one of the first ones I see.

    Keep writing as long as you can. I love to read your words.

    Love you, Nan

  4. Hey Dad,

    I wish that everyone could talk about this subject without tears and long faces. From the day we’re born we’re destined to die, and most everyone that I know have had a lot of time to think about it.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anxious to leave or see anyone else leave, but I know where the road leads.

    Since you bring up the subject, I’d like to take the opportunity to say what a pleasure your company has been. I’ve benefitted from your council, enjoyed your humor, and learned from your years of experience that you so generously shared with me. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if it hadn’t been for you (although there are others to blame – LOL).

    Live life to the fullest and leave with no regrets, and when you reach the final reward, please make sure you convince them to let me in.

    With Love, your son,

    Marty

  5. I read this last night, then my dad sent me this this morning. I thought you might like it:

    “The man who dares to live his life with death before his eyes, the man who receives life back bit by bit and lives as though it did not belong to him by right but has been bestowed on him as a gift, the man who has such freedom and peace of mind that he has overcome death in his thoughts – such a man believes in eternal life because it is already his, it is a present experience, and he already benefits from its peace and joy. He cannot describe this experience in words. He may not be able to conform his view with the traditional picture of it. But one thing he knows for certain:
    Something within us does not pass away, something goes on living and working wherever the kingdom of the spirit is present. It is already
    working and living within us, because in our hearts we have been able to reach life by overcoming death.”

    – Albert Schweitzer
    (1875 – 1965)
    German missionary, theologian, organist, surgeon, humanitarian

  6. I don’t think very many people even think about this subject, much less bring it up for discussion. I don’t think you are being mnorbid. I know you, and who you are, and how you think (somewhat).
    As someone who is so facinated and appreciative of every little thing in life, I can see how death is something that you would also think about, as it is a part of life, yes?

    It’s hard, and disturbing, to imagine you just gone all of a sudden. As you know, you’ve been around my whole life, and I don’t like to think about that not being so anymore.

    This is it in a nutshell. I have many more thoughts, and mixed feelings about this subject. So if this is something you feel you want to discuss, feel free, I’ll listen……..

  7. Dearest Otto,

    We have been sitting in my kitchen in the country reading your blog. We love it ……. and love you, of course!!!!

    We have been spending our annual Labor Day week-end on the farm for Hoopeston’s Sweetcorn Festival! Yesterday, a beautiful day, we watched Katelin (Linda’s daughter) march in the Marching Band in the Sweetcorn parade. Duane takes a flatbed trailer up to town and we all gather to watch the parade. The grandmas and great aunts sit on the flatbed on lawn chairs and the younger generations(usually 3-4 generations of family members) gather around. Of course there is the annual jugs of Bloody Mary’s that we must partake. After the parade, the party moves to the farm for more fun, laughter and a day of eating… fresh sweetcorn, fresh tomatoes, fresh cucumbers, watermelon, pies and cakes, and of course burgers and brats. This year Duane bought the famous Bubba Burgers that they serve at Cubs park. They were scrumptous!!! Over 50 friends and family enjoyed the day! Duane and Linda were exhausted by 10:30, but there were still young people awake at 2:30 AM. Grandma (Dolly) and Karen slept well in the country air and were up early enjoying another day on the farm. Grandma says “It’s so peaceful here! You would love it!”
    Today Duane gave Emily, Karen’s daughter, her first combine ride. Do you know what a Combine is??? Karen was telling us that she was reading a book about a family living in the country with her 6th grade classes and many had no clue as to what a combine was!!!! She had to share her many years of farm experiences in Hoopeston with her students.
    Unfortunately big sister Nancy and Grandpa were unable to be with us this year. Grandpa is home now, but quite weak. Nurse Nancy was gracious enough to stay with Grandpa instead of coming for the week-end. Hopefully we will see both of them during Harvest when Grandpa is stronger!

    Please keep writing! Enjoy knowing your thoughts and feelings.

    We love you and Marthe!
    Love, Dolly, Karen, and Linda

  8. Everyone who has spent more than 5 minutes with me knows I can talk and talk and talk. Sometimes I talk so fast, I can barely hear myself! This subject, of you leaving my world, is not something I can talk about. I know it’s coming. I have been trying to prepare myself for “it” for years. I can still remember when you started with all those hospital visits when I was little. I have been a lot of promises to God in order for you to come home “just one more time”. ” I swear I will do my homework without being told” – you came home, and I did my homework without a mention from anyone. “I swear I will be nice to my little sister” and you came home. I was nice to my sister. Although, I don’t think that phrase lastest too long! Is that why you got sick again? I wonder sometimes.

    As I grew up, I realized I had discovered my “power”!! “Just let Dad live to see me get married” I will be married 19 years the end of this year. “Just let Dad live to see me have children. “My children are 17 and 13. I have such faith that God will continue to provide YOU and ME with just what we both need. When He (or She) sees we are both ready, it will eventually happen. Don’t rush things along. I am still willing to be nice to my little sister.

    love always.
    Denise

  9. I know you will someday die-Death is a part of life. I know you have lived a long,loving, and productive life. I know that you love life, and all your family and friends. I know you face death with a great deal of wisdom,acceptance,and peace. I also know that when you leave, a part of my heart will go with you. And I know that part of your heart will always be with me. The legacy of your love and influence will live on in all of us.
    You will be here when I treasure my love of learning and the joy of reading.You will be here when I awe at the nature around me,watching a bird dart from tree to tree,appreciate the utter beauty of a caterpiller,and even respect the anazing complexity of a centipede.
    You will be here in the quiet peasure of watching Sara pluck a spider from our wall and place it safely in the yard,or see Carl rescue a moth from Max’s jaws and set it free outside.
    These are all a part of us from your heart. Learning and loving,respect for people, for fairnness, for tolerance–This is your legacy.
    And I will always be comforted in the knowledge that you shared your journey with the love of your life-Ma. We are so lucky that you both are the parents,we have.
    Love,your daughter, Anne

    P.S. We still have nuch more to talk about,so don’t go anywhere yet!

  10. Well… I’m finally getting around to putting my 2 cents in! I’ve thought about this for awhile and these are my thoughts. Daddy, you have had such a great life! How cool is it to have lived 87 years already – and still going strong! You have lived through the depression, world wars and 5 daughters (and the grandkids)… you saw the birth of cars, tvs and computers, cell phones and space shuttles. You witnessed the first man on the moon! You’ve lived through the civil rights and women’s rights. You have seen and lived so much! How lucky you are!!! And you have friends… lots and lots of them! And a close family — and you have everyone around you still… what a treasure! And you have shared your love and respect with all who have entered your life. I’ll bet you will be at peace when you leave this world. You have had a wonderful, fulfilling life – and there’s still more to come. What more could one want? We should all remember to appreciate our time here and always do our best and do the right thing , like you have done, so we can smile too, when our time comes.

    With all my love,

    Baby Lynne

  11. Such nice words between you all.

    I stumbled across your blog while looking up the subject of end of life. I am 34 yo and people within a few degrees of separation with myself are passing away. Inevitable to all.

    I enjoy reading your blog and the messages your family members wrote to and about you are amazing. You seem to be an individual of great merit and I look forward to reading your blog about living a beautiful and fulfilled life.


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